The recent alarm raised by the Catholic Women Organisation that
husbands would become scarce in Nigeria in 2023 may just be right as
P.M.NEWS can confirm that many Nigerian spinsters are currently
witnessing the no-husband syndrome.
Within the last few weeks, some of the ladies who spoke with our
correspondent reported serious apprehension, pressure and a total lack
of peace as the consequence of their inability to get married.
One of the ladies, who preferred to be simply called Titi said she had
taken the issue of marriage as a do-or-die affair due to "internal
pressure" but that as much as she had tried, frustration had often
been the result.
At 37, the businesswoman who sells clothes in Ikeja, the Lagos State
capital in western Nigeria, told P.M.NEWS that she is not finding life
easy.
"What is happiness without a man in a woman's life?"she asked our
correspondent during a chat on Badoo, a relationship site on the
internet.
She had dated several men with some promising marriage, but without
fulfilling the promise.
"You can't imagine that in the last three years, I have dated about
eight men, but the relationship was often short-lived simply because I
ask for their commitment.
"I am not getting any younger and I cry every time I see my mates with
their husbands and children.
"If at 37 I don't have a child or a permanent man, when would I have
them? Is it when my skin has wrinkled? she asked our correspondent.
Chioma (surname withheld), 35, has found herself patronising many of
the social interaction sites on the internet.
The banker told our correspondent that she is on Eskimi, 2go, Badoo,
Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter as well as 4clique, a site that was
launched in Nigeria days ago.
"We can't tell the particular broom in the bunch that kills a fly,"
she told P.M.NEWS on why she patronises such number of social
interaction sites.
"I always change my name in the different sites but the ultimate goal
is to get a husband," she added.
Chioma told P.M.NEWS that she is really worried about the situation,
adding that she lives comfortably (in a mini-flat and has a car), "but
who do I have to enjoy this comfort with me?
"I have tried a hook up programme on a Lagos-based radio station, but
my age is now a major factor hindering my dream of being married," she
lamented pleading with our married correspondent, who she considered a
bachelor, to "help dry my tears."
A married woman, who gave her name as Mrs. Blessing Aguebor and
resident in Oshodi, confirmed that the issue of lack of serious men
for marriage is giving many ladies sleepless nights.
She narrated the touching story of her friend who was disappointed by
her boyfriend of five years when it was time to "settle down".
"My friend was 29 when he met this man in Benin and they dated for
five years. The man was always giving the lady hope without her
knowing the man had other plans. The year he fixed for their marriage
was the year he travelled abroad without even informing my friend.
"It was later he called her and asked her to find another man because
he still had many more years to hustle. My friend almost went mad.
"She is 36 now without a man. I had to convince her to relocate to
Lagos so that possibly out of the population here, she would find
someone. It is pathetic," she said.
A 38-year old business woman in Ketu, Mrs. Rita Adewunmi, narrated how
she lost her first husband to a friend, Idayat, who was desperate for
a husband.
According to Mrs. Adewunmi who remarried last year, Idayat was 36 and
needed a husband but her search was endless.
"I was always encouraging her and made her a part of my family. She
would always help me take care of the kids when I go to the market.
"With time, she took over my husband without my knowledge until the
day I caught them red-handed and that was the end of my marriage.
Ladies are like hunters these days," she said.
Asked why she was not married at 34, Blessing Osuoha, a nurse with a
private hospital in Abuja, retorted: "that is why I'm on this social
site. Why are you asking? Is it a bad idea if you propose to me?"
She explained that life was becoming unbearable without a husband.
"My friends and family members are always asking when they would come
and 'chop' rice, and I keep hoping," she added.
A marriage counsellor in Lagos, Mrs. Victoria Aliu, told P.M.NEWS that
scarcity of 'real men' is becoming a terrible condition for women
ready for marriage.
She blamed the problem partly on the Nigerian economy, confusion among
the bachelors on their choices of the women they want as wives and the
attitudes of the spinsters.
"Many women, whether consciously or not, behave irritably sometimes,
forgetting that the man just beside them at every point in time may
just have been nursing how to start a conversation that could lead to
marriage.
"Some other ladies are very choosy and unserious at their early stages
of adulthood. They only open their eyes to discover that their friends
are all married and that they are the only ones left at the bus stop.
Then it becomes a terrible case for them," she explained.
Source: www.pmnews.com
Saturday 7 September 2013
Nigerian Ladies Worry Over Scarcity Of Men.
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